Spring Break
COLUMN: This week in crazy
Adnan, Lina and Jason
Issue date: 11/25/08 Section: Perspectives
So, this week we are going to switch things. As you readers may not have known, "This Week in Crazy" has been feuding with the wannabe writers of "New Age Philosophers." We understand that their jealousy and hatred of our actual thought-provoking columns. After all they used to garner a lot of readers. Key words: "used to." As if the clouds opened and gleamed a bright ray of sunlight, we came into the article writing business. We cannot help that we bring humor to the lives of the students, staff and faculty here at our wonderful university. We also cannot help that we can make people laugh while addressing ridiculous issues going on throughout campus, the country and the friggin' world. However, we can help the CPAs, wait that's not right…The GOP…nope that doesn't sound right, either…Oh yeah, the NAPs, write an article worth reading. Of course, that's right after you read "This Week in Crazy" first, then the front page, then the sports column. Then after Features, of course, right after the "Word of Mouth" and "Random Student" portions of the MJ. Basically, when people are lying at home, bored out of their minds, and have nothing better to do, they will read your article because of the advice we are about to give.
First off, change your freaking name. Yeah, we understand the connotation of "NAP," since whenever we read your article it makes us want to fall asleep. Didn't Don Imus teach you anything? Nothing good comes out of a word that starts with NAP. However, we address you guys as the NAP people. The NAPs, or the people who are tired of asking people how to spell "philosophers," so they just abbreviate, while you guys address yourselves as the New Age Philosophers. Maybe they should change your name to New Age "craP."
Which leads us to our next question: Which one of you guys are philosophy majors? Have any of you even taken a philosophy class? I've personally spoken with Ali Beidoun numerous times, and he is by no means an Aristotle or an Immanuel Kant. Word on the street is that you both are finance majors. Good for you. Maybe just stick with that and give real advice as financial consultants, not relationship experts. Maybe you guys should start an advice column on how to balance checkbooks or make investments. Let's be real, the whole relationship advice thing isn't working too well for you, at all. Have you had success stories with real people and not imaginary?
First off, change your freaking name. Yeah, we understand the connotation of "NAP," since whenever we read your article it makes us want to fall asleep. Didn't Don Imus teach you anything? Nothing good comes out of a word that starts with NAP. However, we address you guys as the NAP people. The NAPs, or the people who are tired of asking people how to spell "philosophers," so they just abbreviate, while you guys address yourselves as the New Age Philosophers. Maybe they should change your name to New Age "craP."
Which leads us to our next question: Which one of you guys are philosophy majors? Have any of you even taken a philosophy class? I've personally spoken with Ali Beidoun numerous times, and he is by no means an Aristotle or an Immanuel Kant. Word on the street is that you both are finance majors. Good for you. Maybe just stick with that and give real advice as financial consultants, not relationship experts. Maybe you guys should start an advice column on how to balance checkbooks or make investments. Let's be real, the whole relationship advice thing isn't working too well for you, at all. Have you had success stories with real people and not imaginary?
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